How to Maintain Intimacy in the Age of Social Media Distractions

Staying connected with your partner can be challenging when you’re also connected to the rest of the world at any given moment.

Social media and the Internet in general is full of alluring, bite-sized distractions that can seriously eat into your quality time together and your bond as a couple.

But if you want a healthy, loving partnership, you have to make the effort to maintain your intimacy.

Here’s how:

1. Reduce your social media time

The first step is also the most obvious – cut down on the time you spend on your platforms. You don’t have to completely give them up, of course, unless you want to.

Just set some boundaries for yourself. For example, you can choose certain times of day for scrolling through your feeds, e.g. one hour after dinner and before bedtime.

If you lose track easily, consider using apps that help you monitor your screen time. Most phones also have some kind of “digital wellbeing” apps built in so you can get weekly reports on your device usage.

This is especially useful for comparing the time you spend on different platforms. If you tend to switch between apps it’s much easier to accumulate a lot of total social media time.

 

2. Resist the urge to snoop

Trust is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. While open communication is important, that has to have a measure too, so respect your partner’s online privacy.

Don’t look through their messages or make assumptions based on what you see on their timelines. If something concerns you, ask about it.

Openly discussing boundaries and privacy concerns builds trust and sets a tone of mature cooperation for any potential conflicts down the line.

 

3. Communicate face-to-face

Meaningful face-to-face conversations often take a backseat in our digital age, but this is a huge mistake. Make an effort to engage in real conversations with your partner on a regular basis.

Share your thoughts, feelings, impressions from your day, etc. Remember, screens have no facial expressions or tones of voice, so a lot of nuance is lost.

Put away your phone during meals or leisurely moments. Intimacy requires undivided attention, so practice it in your everyday interactions.

 

4. Make tech work for you

While technology can be a hindrance in many ways, it can also be a helpful tool for strengthening your relationship if you’re smart with how you use it. Consider apps designed to help couples connect, such as shared calendars for planning date nights or private messaging apps for sending sweet notes throughout the day.

These types of things can be especially helpful in weaning yourself off social media apps. You still get your dose of online interaction, but it’s focused on your partner and your relationship instead of random strangers on the Web.

 

5. Spend offline quality time

Intimacy thrives on quality time for just you. Plan activities that don’t involve any screens or devices, such as going for a walk, cooking together, or simply enjoying a quiet evening with a board game or a book.

Sharing your hobbies can also reignite your connection, so try alternating between each other’s favorite pastimes if they don’t really overlap. Bonus points for exploring interests that require little to no tech involvement, like dancing, painting, or gardening.

Even if you don’t adopt your partner’s niche interests, it’s a fun way to bond and create lasting memories.


6. Eliminate devices from the bedroom

Finally, no matter how you alter your overall social media and tech habits, keep the digital toys out of the bedroom! It’s your sanctuary, the most intimate space you share, so make it conducive to connecting with your partner on a more profound level.

Leave the smartphones and tablets in the living room. Set up an old-fashioned alarm clock. No screens allowed! Not only will that make the room a little intimacy nest, it’ll also improve your sleep quality.

When you’re both well-rested, you’re less cranky and confrontational, meaning more harmony and joy in the relationship.

Keeping intimacy alive with all the readily available distractions is actually simple, but requires consistent effort. Prioritize face-to-face communication and respect each other’s privacy. Minimize your individual screen times and focus on tech as a tool instead.

Use it to coordinate your everyday lives or explore some exciting avenues of spicing things up. No matter what you do, though, keep devices out of your most intimate spaces: shared mealtimes, dates, and the bedroom.

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